Before I begin, I’ll give a little background to help paint a better picture and provide a more clear understanding of how I got where I am and what I’m all about. Who I am today is the result of the experiences I have encountered throughout my life and the choices I made in how I would handle them. By giving the basic information on who I am today it is my hope that as you read my story you are able to identify different aspects that could have influenced my development and, in part, have contributed to the direction my path has unfolded.
– I’m a 24 year old Caucasian female living in the suburbs outside of a small New England city;
– the daughter of an inspiring yet frustrating mother and absent drug addict/alcoholic father, sister to a 23 year old annoying man-child, and mother to an incredible 18 month old son who I truly believe saved my life;
– a full time student majoring in Social Work;
– a 30 hour per week employee;
– a nearly 2.5 year clean opiate addict;
– an individual who, despite feeling hopeless and paralyzed at times, refuses to give up on achieving my goals; and an individual who even in the most trying of times will actively seek the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small or hard it is to find.
My story is in no way unique and pales in comparison to the experiences others have had. The struggles I have been faced with may have seemed like the end of the world at the time, but looking back I’m able to conceptualize how small they are in the grand scheme of things. As I write this I will be going into detail about things that come to mind as I go. I am by no means a perfect person, some of the things I have done in the past disgust me and are inexcusable to the regard I choose to hold myself in today. Though I may not be proud of everything I’ve done, I take complete responsibility for my actions and am in no way looking to excuse them. I ask that no judgment be placed upon me as I delve in to uncover the deepest darkest skeletons in my closet. In most situations I was not the only person involved, please keep in mind that you will only be hearing my side of things and that any other party may not agree with my interpretation of events.
My ramblings may be scrambled, as my thinking often is. I will try my best to follow some type of logic, though will not focus on it since this is meant to be a leisurely therapeutic process. If you follow me through this, you will grow to love my quirks and “catch phrases” and empathize with the person I’ve become. I hope you are able to sense my humor as it often sounds snide when speaking, I can’t even begin to imagine how it’ll come across to someone reading. Most importantly, I hope you are able to feel the sincerity of my words as you follow me in this journey.
I consider this project and myself a work in progress. I don’t plan on even attempting to publish this when I’m done, but I would like to put a final product together for myself. With that being said, my punctuation, verbiage, or articulation may be difficult to follow. If there is something that is hard to understand through how it was written I would love to know if you are able to do it constructively. If I start to talk about something and you have more questions about it (why, what happened, etc.) please feel free to ask, I’ll answer the best I can.
As you read this, please keep in mind that putting my thoughts, feelings, and emotions out there leaves me feeling vulnerable. I will appreciate anything constructive, but please be respectful should you choose to comment.
We’ve reached the end of my introduction, my next post will be of Chapter 01. I’d like to take this time to thank you if you have chosen to follow me on this journey. I hope it can be something positive for both of us.
Here goes!!
RoaP
R.o.a.P. 